August 28, 2010

Sick of being sick!!

I am so sick of being sick!! I feel like a human guinea pig. I am tired of getting poked and prodded! I have to have another series of blood tests to check my levels. I have to go in and see the Cardiologist and then see the Neurologist to get an MRI and Cat-scan.  I am usually not claustrophobic, but that machine makes me feel very claustrophobic! I can’t wait to get that one done with.
I have not been in as much pain lately which is a good thing. I continue to have fevers, and still am very weak. Being out in the sun with this heat makes me very weak. My lungs are still very weak due to my chronic pleurisy. My short term memory seems to get worse each day. It can be so embarrassing at times. Last week I went to see my Doctor. The receptionist asked what Pharmacy I use. I could not for the life of me remember. I knew where it was, I could see it, but I could not remember what it was called. She asked me a few other things and must have thought I was crazy because I seemed so confused and had to try to think about my answers. When I finally got into my room I asked the Nurse what other Pharmacies there are besides Walgreen's. Well it turned out to be CVS. How could I not remember?
I am so thankful to have my kids around to help me remember things. I am always asking them, “Did I already do this?” Or they help me remember what something is called. Like the time I could not even remember my Aunts name! I had to ask the kids, “What is Aunt _________ Name?” That made me so sad.
The kids think it is really funny when I start to try and say something and get all the words mixed up or I say things backwards, and then I begin to stutter. I wish I thought it was as funny as they do. I have lost some of my long term memory too. It is very odd when I all the sudden  remember something that I had forgotten. It is like déjà vu.  I am like wow! I didn’t even know I had forgotten that. I have to ask my friends all of the time, “Did I already tell you this, or did we talk about this before?” It is so crazy!!!
Oh well, just another day of feeling LUPIE with Lupus.

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